Ściągawka wyborcza: gdyby partie polityczne były batonikami

Tym razem pożyczone z Reddita:

Fianna Fail / Fine Gael – Twix. My favourite Twix bar is the left one. No they’re not the same, don’t be stupid. Look, the left one is entirely different from the right one, don’t be fooled by the fact that they’re the same size and shape and sold in the same packet. Yes, my father’s favourite was also the left one, what’s that got to do with it?

Sinn Fein – Daim. A thin veneer of sweetness covering a hard, inflexible centre. You used not to be able to buy them here but they seem to be in everything now. Splinters easily under pressure.

Labour – Milky Way. Looks like a big, solid Mars bar on the outside but is actually entirely made up of a gooey, weak froth that melts under the mildest heat. Now in treat size.

AAA-PBP – Picnic. A load of random shite roughly piled together and thinly coated with chocolate to give the vague appearance of being a cohesive whole. May contain nuts.

Social Democrats – Bounty. Multiple bars per packet. Packed full of lovely clean, white policy as yet unsullied by the outside world. Contents nevertheless seem a bit flaky.

Green Party – Wispa. Used to be a big deal but disappeared due to lack of demand, then brought back by a grassroots campaign. A bit bubbly.

Renua – Caramac. Awful old rubbish that was popular 30 years ago but that nobody buys any more. Strangely sweet but with a terrible aftertaste.

Independents – Revels. A variety of shapes and sizes, but you never know quite what you’re going to get until you bite into them. Need to be kept tightly wrapped up in their packaging or they’ll spill out all over the place.


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